Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
