just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
is it fun? or sober?
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