my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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