I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
