I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
