The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
