I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
