I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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