Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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