I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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