So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
