I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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