Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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