It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
