dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
