nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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