Porn is love you can see.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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