Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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