It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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