Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
