How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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