I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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