Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
