Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
