we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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