why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
