i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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