if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
