How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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