ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i believe in u and ur pee
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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