dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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