i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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