so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well I just put wine in my tea
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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