He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
