Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My life is pants optional.
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