Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
