I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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