the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
