I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
