hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
