using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Randomize
