I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
