yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize