where am i from again
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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