he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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