I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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