covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
how does that bad decision feel?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
