It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
