Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
