he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
