if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
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Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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