I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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