First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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