I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
