never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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