I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
