ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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