i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize