It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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