I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
