ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
